Competing

So in my waking moments yesterday my brain was wrestling with why I continue to want to lift weights. Why lift? Why push for more? Shouldn't I start to become content with simply becoming healthy, eating well, losing weight? For some reason I still have my college days Muscle head mentality. While I am trying to eat more healthily I'm still pushing for a more muscled look rather than thinning down. I'm forty with 4 kids and a wife I love and I still feel like a 20 something, well at least in my head. My body feels much older. I've had 2 back surgeries, the last one leaving me with 4 screws and 2 rods in my lower spine. So my goal is to feel, physically, as young as my mind says I am. I’m in a competition with myself and with time. I know that the statistics of age say that at 40 things start to change more quickly. Testosterone levels are supposed to drop more rapidly. Depression is more likely. Well I’m going to do my best to fight these changes. So I’m going to continue to workout and continue to try to make gains and since I no longer have my friends to compete with I guess I'll have to compete with myself. Heres to a good fight.